Wow, this week has been an emotional roller-coaster for me! I feel like a bag of hormones which is busting at the seams, ready to explode! There are a lot of changes going on in my life at the moment – the baby’s arrival is approaching obviously, but also, next month we are moving from our little rented house, into my mother-in-law’s house with her, so that we can save a deposit for a house of our own. I am feeling very anxious about this indeed. It’s nothing to do with the fact that it’s my mother-in-law as I happen to get on with her very well, it’s just the fact that I am moving my family into somebody else’s house. It’s going to be strange adjusting to this. Simple things which everyone takes for granted such as, walking across the landing with no clothes on or having your pick of the TV channels, will be gone. It is only for a year and the outcome will be worth it, but this change mixed with my overactive hormones is making me feel so stressed. I have developed sore, flakey eczema on my elbows and my IBS was playing up a bit yesterday – all signs that I need to chill! But that’s easier said than done.
I can tell that my hormones are raging at the moment because quite uncharacteristically at the weekend, I completely snapped at a neighbour! I was on our driveway, vacuuming the car (yes, I am still obsessively cleaning!). I had all the doors open and was just giving the dash a final wipe over after spending 45 minutes vacuuming and dusting, when along came a dog. Now, I am not what you would call a ‘dog person’, in fact, I hate the smelly creatures. This dog was pretty mean looking (a ‘Staffordshire Bull Terrier’ I think?) and decided that he would jump up on me. I got pushed back into the car and covered with mud and slobber (Yuck, this is what I hate most about dogs) I managed to push the dog away and suddenly its owner appeared at the end of our driveway (a strange reclusive lady who lives opposite and spends most of her time in her dressing gown). I expected her to come running over and grab the dog which had just invaded my space, but instead she just stood at the end of the drive and feebly called it back. Well, it then decided to jump into my car! Mud went everywhere! There were muddy paw prints all over my freshly-cleaned car seats! I managed to grab it by the neck and pull it out, still expecting the owner to rush over and apologise, but she didn’t. Still, she stood at the end of the driveway and quietly attempted to call it back. The filthy beast then jumped up at me again and hopped straight back into my car. This is when I flipped! I think I screamed something along the lines of,
For f**** sake! I’ve just cleaned this f****** car! Get your f****** dog away from me! If you can’t control it then put it on a lead!!
With that, I dragged the dog out, got in the car and slammed the doors shut, sealing myself in to calm down. If you know me, then you know that I’m not usually one for confrontation (in fact, I tend to let people walk all over me sometimes which I wish I could change), so this was definitely a case of hormone overload! I was quite impressed with myself actually – I do have the potential to be assertive afterall.
Apart from the hormones and stress, everything else is going well. Baby is kicking so much which is can be quite painful occasionally, but nice and reassuring at the same time. My appetite is HUGE – I got through a whole box of Lindor chocolates the other night and didn’t even feel sick! Only 12 weeks to go now… let’s hope I’m not as big as a bus by then!