Lots to report on this week! I had an antenatal appointment yesterday and it seems that baby C has spun around and so no longer has his back against my back! I thought this may be the case because my lower back has been feeling a lot better the last couple of weeks – it appears all that work on my hands and knees has paid off! Also, that pressure on my cervix was as I suspect – baby is 3/5ths engaged! (which means the top of his head has started to drop into my pelvis ready for the big day!) This makes it all seem so close now!
This week I also attended the ‘Birth Choices Clinic’ where I sat with a midwife for an hour and we went over everything which happened during the birth of my first son in order to try and make a decision on whether to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian) or a caesarian section this time. I found it really helpful actually. The midwife had all the notes from the previous birth and so could see exactly what happened and give me all the pros and cons of each choice. After a discussion with my husband that night, we have decided that I am going to go for the VBAC if I make it to the due date with no other problems. It was made quite clear to me that at any point during labour, if my blood pressure rises and I am worried, I can request a caesarian (providing I’m not ready to push of course!). This has given me a lot of reassurance. Also, the midwife told me that she has never seen a woman go through pre-eclampsia during two labours – apparently it’s quite rare to happen the second time around. Let’s just hope I’m not the exception!
My conjunctivitis has now cleared up (hoorah!) but I have been left with a blurry right eye! (oh bugger!) Oh, and now I have come down with a cold! Will I ever be clear of sickness?!
We have been living at my husband’s mother’s for nearly two weeks now and though we are made to feel very welcome and there are no real problems I know of, I am struggling to settle with the idea. My maternal instincts are battling against me and screaming, ‘you need to get you and your family in your own house!‘ I am really really trying to compress and hide these feelings for the sake of my husband (who seems quite happy there) and for the sake of our savings, but I feel it slowly eating away at me the closer the arrival of my second child gets and I’m sure he can see it in me. I am still working three days a week at the moment so am not there a great deal, but I’m so scared that in three weeks time, when I’m on maternity leave and so there all the time, that it will drag me down and become obvious. It’s only been two weeks so I suppose I’m still settling in – maybe in a few weeks I’ll feel differently and start to feel more at home? I just miss my own space, my own furniture, my own little family hideaway. God I miss that.